blind not deaf
February 23, 2019
don’t yell at me. the sun is shining. i can hear it.
aviation atrocity
February 9, 2019
number of casualties: one. number of sunburns: one hundred forty three.
: never forget :
safety bushes
November 10, 2018
consider crossing from bush to bush safely. in a bushy area densely populated by bush.
: know your salmon :
sea breeze
September 15, 2018
waiting for the breeze of sea. in the wrong place. it’s his right place.
no right to bear arms
July 8, 2018
if you must be skinny, why not get rid of your arms. the perfect model, according to fashion.
: forever young :
face waiting
June 21, 2018
waiting to duplicate. never felt complete.
who wore it best
June 7, 2018
who wore it best? the black t-shirt on the man. the backpack’s blue t-shirt.
urban living is glorious
April 20, 2018
jail-like sunbathing. a good friday.
massage heaven
April 7, 2018
amsterdam. book now. hot stone massage heaven.
sushi delivery
March 23, 2018
could not afford the sashimi. trees die and fish do, too. anything to keep the plastic tray company.
plastic fantastic
February 18, 2018
studies show you eat less when eating from a red plate. well, less is more. coca cola special.
resident adviser spider
November 18, 2017
how to hold on to your home. the resident spider advises. spin a web of lies.
Pull&Bear Denim shorts with floral embroidery and frayed hems
November 12, 2017
in the zone.
: try it on :
Pull&Bear Shiny ice cream appliqué T-shirt
November 12, 2017
can’t handle these compliments.
: try it on :
See U Soon Short Sleeve Jumper with Grid Sleeves
November 12, 2017
my first time. doing great.
: try it on :
double parked
May 18, 2017
i was here first. no, i was. going dutch.
playground wars
May 9, 2017
this toy won’t fit under the bed. the midchildhood crisis. battle averted.
the gull’s gift
May 1, 2017
look at this delicious bird. squawk squawk plop. now it’s mine.
cocktail hangover
April 8, 2017
this cocktail has had it. he’s drained. why do i need three straws.
wireless sheep
February 23, 2017
airplane mode. remember what happened to the cress.
horses
February 12, 2017
i’ve never backridden a horse.
bottom of the barrel
February 1, 2017
fighting the plant doesn’t make you a winner. drop kick. it’s over.
frozen stiff
December 28, 2016
a customer bought too many piglets for christmas. and returned them all. cryopreserved till next year.
sad balloon
December 25, 2016
a happy day for the child. the balloon has returned.
winter laundry
December 3, 2016
sun’s back. what a place to catch some rays. taking the undies for some vitamin d.
front door garden
October 30, 2016
the most majestic of all gardens. the front door garden. man’s ultimate hobby.
the salad and meatballs meal
October 30, 2016
the salad was just heavenly. i mean, it wasn’t very psychedelic. meatballs, yes.
hello, yes?
October 20, 2016
can i help you? i let myself in. i am ready.
waiting and moving
October 3, 2016
when was the last time you gazed out the window of the bus to barcelona? that bus, i remember it well. too fast to properly examine the trees.
a hole in the sky
September 24, 2016
projections from another time. invaders from space. bull’s eye.
sunset and signs
September 20, 2016
2 pretty 2 ignore. bikes allowed. no heavy bikes allowed.
: find out where is this place and go to that pink sunset too :
go fish
September 17, 2016
why change your mind? it was a fruitful fishing trip. swimming in a sea of berries.
alley cat
September 14, 2016
the cat would like you to mind your own business. there is some great vintage garbage he can repurpose. do not repurpose the cat´s garbage, amsterdammer.
: find your own garbage to repurpose to a hipster vintage state :
enter the apollo
September 10, 2016
the building is not a chicken. trademark infringement. goodbye, for a while.
a day at the races
September 9, 2016
racing to what? ray protection. nowhere, really.
one body segment closer to death
September 4, 2016
struggling to hold on. help him. maybe he’s ok.
: maybe not :
one two three
August 30, 2016
what’s going on here? lazy oleander lounge. nothing.
so good paella
August 28, 2016
this is the best paella. i highly recommend this paella. such foodporn.
what’s your favourite colour
August 28, 2016
what is yours? mine’s brown. mine’s brown, too.
Tailored ribbed dress by Mango
August 21, 2016
it’s £49.99 dresses like these that make you worry, one day this will no longer fit me.
: try it on :
ALL OVER NAUTICAL STRIPE SWEATSHIRT by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
a €5.99 sailor themed sweatshirt can’t cheer you up, no matter how many buoys life throws at you.
: try it on :
SLOGAN PRINT T-SHIRT by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
you couldn’t possibly be having doubts, it’s only €15.99.
: try it on :
DENIM JACKET by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
don’t feel guilty about spending €35.99 on so much denim.
: try it on :
PLAYSUIT WITH PLEATED FRONT by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
€25.99 should not cause you a headache.
: try it on :
Houndstooth pattern dress by Mango
August 21, 2016
if you don’t like this birthday gift remember that someone saved up £49.99 to get it for you.
: try it on :
ROUND NECK PEARL KNIT SWEATER by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
if you worry too much your €15.99 sweater might shrink.
: try it on :
I’M FUTURE SPORT T-SHIRT by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
it’s not worth crying over €15.99.
: try it on :
STRAPPY TOP WITH ALL OVER PRINT by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
when life gets you down you should spend over €3.99 for triangles to cover your upper body.
: try it on :
HAREM TROUSERS by Pull&Bear
August 21, 2016
the best trousers in which to pout for just €35.99.
: try it on :
a meaty reward
August 20, 2016
is eating meat rewarding? yes, if shopping success rates are high. yes, if it is served with vegetables and you are a vegetarian and you eat only the vegetables.
: check out this next generation vegetable barfer (with cleaning brush) :
fields of paella
August 13, 2016
why does this grow here? the failed valencian vole revolt of 1777. guiness sized pans.
this is not the festival
August 12, 2016
she can’t take it anymore. the bus is coming. lost attention.
kind of cross eyed
August 11, 2016
cat eyes are so popular. mouse pad. speedometer.
: these glasses where you can see others and the others can see themselves but not you :
arachnorobbery
August 11, 2016
how did he die? a baby bandit. the heist of his life.
streetwalking
August 10, 2016
what happens when you walk in your sleep? digestion. you win first place.
it’s time for a conversation
August 10, 2016
dinner is inside. the house. me.
sweet sixteen
August 10, 2016
how many legs do you see? i see six. they are sweet teens.
the surgery was successful
August 7, 2016
did it go well? front row seat to the highest bidder. no smoking.
untangled for now
August 7, 2016
fly high high high to the sky. whoosh. game over.
it’s a race
July 30, 2016
the captain is hard to see. so is the pilot. so is the swimmer.
watch it
July 20, 2016
cats who don’t finish their dinner make good pets. no comment. helicopter pet parent.
fishing for cat food
July 19, 2016
who ate the left food. the right food was too far away. the man on the upper balcony.
camouflage death
July 17, 2016
how long has he been dead? one year. never alive.
this cat is alive but blind
July 16, 2016
has he lost sight in all eyes already? 
: fun treats for your furry friends here :
many olive oils
July 16, 2016
was i eating alone? i had two meals. this wasn’t my table.
: mexican flexican :
work it
July 16, 2016
work what? heartstrings. you’re still in the running.
beach invaders
July 2, 2016
no beach visit is complete without: a radio tower. an escape artist.
too close to the sun
June 10, 2016
or did it not fly at all? there are no feathery wings. it was too heavy.
nowhere to run nowhere to burrow
May 19, 2016
what’s your favourite mole? chocolate. cindy’s.
sewer gato
May 13, 2016
born and raised in the sewers of madrid. sure is. madrid’s great.
wood burns better than rock
March 5, 2016
paper, rock, scissors? dangerous fire. rock.
killing dinner
December 3, 2015
who would you kill for dinner? not dinner. my tomato doesn’t have a name.
have you read the news today
November 22, 2015
is the storm near? the buildings will protect you. category 8.
surprise it’s not a cat
November 13, 2015
hello. why am i here. i’m not a cat. holiday.
which way is right
September 29, 2015
which way do you like to wait? with my right shoe off. front facing left at the light.
wait till you weigh one ounce
September 24, 2015
excuse me, do you have the time? one ounce. moonlighting time.
dead tired
April 28, 2015
do you think the bird chose this wall specifically on which to die? he’s just sleeping. not sure it’s a male or female birdy.
it was a good party
February 14, 2015
what is your favourite drinking pastime? watching television remotely. tea.
too much rice
November 29, 2014
there’s too much rice in asia. maybe he went to get more rice. you just never know when it comes to rice.
killed by a branch
November 25, 2014
a branch of what? executives. straight branches.
two drops is better than none
November 22, 2014
would you rather sail in one boat or two (what if one breaks)? two. one.
it’s been a while
November 15, 2014
did his owner wear a cowboy hat? yes. no.
definitely dead
November 2, 2014
is this place a fish cemetery, or what? so much algae. fermentation.
splat. that’s sad
October 25, 2014
i’m not sure the boat was supposed to be there. the bird thought the boat was just a reflection in the water. boats don’t fly in the sky but birds don’t know that.
amphibian herd
September 27, 2014
what’s your flavour? gills. lungs.
man vs nature
June 28, 2014
do you think it’s safe to drive a heavy truck onto a glacier? probably. i guess. probably.
do’s and don’ts
February 13, 2011
do you approach the ocean with trepidation? do. don’t.
ant view of a prickly desert
February 15, 2009
are you a little prickly? yes. i’m not prickly.
turn your world upside-down
September 2, 2008
do you like to flip your life upside-down? on. sey.